To Ever Love
by Vana Telcontar
Summary: Dividing Lines- Chapter 3! Beka's POV appears for the first time and she and Rhade have a spat about her life-risking tendencies.
1. To Ever Love

**To Ever Love**

**Summary:** Seamus goes to Rhade's room to try and console the Nietzschean after the revealing events of the 100th ep, "Pride Before The Fall."

**Spoilers: **"Pride Before The Fall"

**Pairings: **Beka/Rhade

------------------

"Uh, Rhade?" Seamus asked softly as he entered the Nietzschean's quarters. "You in here?"

"Where else would I be?" Rhade croaked, coming out of his bathroom, looking worn.

"Whoa, you don't look so hot. Then again, I guess you have reason," Seamus said, not seeming to notice the dirty look Rhade gave as he fumbled his way over to his bed. "So uh, shocking, huh?"

"What an obvious statement, Harper. Did you come here for a reason, or just to rub recent events in my face?" The Nietzschean asked, burying his face into his hands.

"Right, why I'm here." Harper stood before Rhade, fidgeting nervously. "I just uh, wanted to let you know I'm here if you need to talk and that you have a right to take this badly. As you obviously have. I mean, Beka was- is- our shipmate and now we find out that she's actually the _alpha mother _of your entire race. A race of people I despise- begging your pardon- and yet there she is. No one really expected it and you getting sick was the _least _of the responses I expected from you. It's a lot to absorb."

"You don't get it, Harper," he said, looking up from his hands. "I have... feelings, for Beka."

"Well, yeah, of course you do. I mean, she _is _the mother of...." He trailed off at Rhade's serious look, one that was a mix of heart-wrenching pain and disgust. "Oh. Ohhhh!" He pointed at the Nietzschean. "You mean _feelings! _You... Oh." He sat on Rhade's bed next to him. "I see. Yeah, that's something of a-"

"Serious issue? Disgusting emotion?" Rhade asked angrily, surging to his feet.

"I was gonna say a problem, but if you want...." He trailed off, watching Rhade as he paced. His tone softened slightly at seeing his Nietzschean friend so upset. "So uh, how long have you...."

Rhade stopped and looked down and back slightly. "I've known for a while, but I ignored it until today. When I found out that that.... _man, _had done something to her ship, I grew... angry. I found him and I hit him until I... I started to become undone. I couldn't help it. And then I knew I'd never be able to deny what I felt for... Beka." He gazed at the wall. "I was going to tell her, see what she did. But now...."

"Now you find out she's the mother of your entire race and to love her would be like incest," Seamus filled in, then looked down as Rhade glared back at him. "Sorry."

"So you see _why _I'm feeling sick. I know why she was chosen for that role- she's a strong warrior with good survival skills and practically Nietzschean herself while still holding onto her humanity-, but now things are just... impossible."

"Well... not necessarily," Seamus said slowly, and Rhade looked at him, slightly confused. "Well, think about it." He moved quickly next to Rhade, the man turning slightly to face him. "Yes, she's the genetic beginning of your race, the _Eve _of the Nietzscheans. But how long ago was that? 16 generations? Her DNA is bound to be diminished in that time! Uh, not to mention that it's not technically her; just her DNA. So really, you," he pointed at the Nietzschean, "could still be with her, without it being completely inappropriate."

Rhade let out a soft laugh. "You make it sound so simple, Harper."

"So? Maybe it is."

"But it's not!" He roared, whirling about totally and throwing a hand in the air. "Don't you get it? I have to rever her as a _mother_, have to protect her. I can never have her the way I want! Not now!"

Seamus just stared in serious sorrow at his angered and hurt friend. "If you feel that way, then maybe it's better to try and let those feelings go."

Rhade stared at Seamus a moment, then dropped his arm, still staring. He let out a breath and looked away, closinghis eye momentarily.

"I can't."

"Then you need to figure out what you _can _do, Rhade. Or you're going to be stuck loving her and being unable to have her for a very long time," he replied, just staring seriously at Rhade for a moment. Then, seeing the man's chagrin, he sighed and placed a light hand on his shoulder. "You do what you have to."

He dropped the hand and walked out, leaving Rhade in the silence with his thoughts.

------------------

**A/N:** I know, this lacks anything Harper, but being a new Drom fan this episode insprired me to create the first Drom fic that I could post up here! Lol Yes, I am a Beka/Rhade shipper, and I was a Beka/Tyr shipper too, till I heard from around that Tyr goes insane or some such. Well, we'll just have to see!

- V.


	2. A Million Moments Past

**A Million Moments Past**

By: Vana Telcontar

**Disclaimer:** Okay, why, when I just get hooked, do they have to go and cancel Drom-Wipes away tears- This is so unfair...

**Summary:** Sequel to "To Ever Love". Rhade is busy reflecting on what occured between him and Beka in the Training Center for the Protectors of the Avatars.

**Spoilers: **"Pride Before The Fall""Moonlight Becomes You""Past Is Prolix"

**Pairings:** Beka/Rhade (DUH! Who else?)

-

Standing under the hot spray of water back on the Andromeda, Rhade rested his head against his bonespikes as his arm leaned on the wall of the shower.

Trapped in a room with Beka, as well as going insane from not just her but some sort of weird gas, was more of a hard day's work than he could take. Trust Harper to drag them into trouble. What he wanted was to just forget everything that had happened in the past few weeks and have it all go back to being _normal_. ... Well, as normal as things got.

It wasn't that he hated what had happened- well, okay, it was because he hated what had happened. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if it had just been left at them nearly strangling each other and him confessing that she was the embodiment of all his guilt and disgust. But then she had helped him up, taking his hand in hers and their eyes had met for the briefest of neverending moments.

He was sure that she could see the emotions in his eyes; the love, the need, the disgust at the situation they had gotten into. For a moment his breathing had stopped and he thought that maybe there was something in her eyes as well.

But then that fool "Ione" had shown up and ruined everything, forcing them to look away and come back to the real world where she was the Alpha Mother of his race and he was her revering subject.

What was it with the Divine playing tricks on him like this? First his wife and children, then Louisa, and now Beka. All out of his reach. And yet somehow... Beka felt like the worst. Probably because she was right there, staring him in the face day after day. Death of his women he could handle, because then he really couldn't be with them, but Beka was alive and well, just... completely untouchable. It was honestly driving him mad.

And then Dylan- the foolish idealist he had always been- sent her plunging too close to a sun for comfort to get _plasma_ to save Trance with. Plasma that caused radiation that could effectively kill them both. He had overridden the system and probably could have gotten away with that had Beka not come to the realization he had to obey her. And she had laughed when he said he was protecting her. Laughed! Like his worry and care were some form of a joke!

He growled deep in his throat and stood straight. Having to obey that... woman like some sort of dog was not his idea of how things should be. She should thank him for his concern and bow to the will of a male, but as all things Valentine, she submitted to no one. Which, he reminded himself, was one of the reasons he loved her so dearly.

_Without that fire, she wouldn't be the survival expert and perfect mate._

He had to agree with his thought pattern, although he frowned speculatively. She had been close to catching him on the ship when he had accidentally slipped up. Careful not to say that he saw her as the mother of their race- so he didn't tell the truth, but he didn't exactly _lie _either, he had almost thought she had realized that what he felt for her had nothing to do with "family ties". He couldn't care less about them, honestly, except that he'd rather not stop existing again. Luckily he had quickly covered up with that duty line, although that wasn't exactly what he meant.

It wasn't all about his duty to protect his alpha mother, though that was part of it. It was about protecting what he still considered his, what he would probably always consider his. And he _would _stand by that duty, even if Dylan stepped in.

Wait a minute... had she looked hurt by that? He blinked and turned the water off, opening the shower door to get a towel.

She had. She had seemed almost touched under her joking manner when she said she could get used to him protecting her, and then she had looked hurt when he had said it was only his duty. And if that meant what he thought it did...

An image of her from their time trapped in the training center imposed itself in his mind.

_It makes me want to curl up in a corner and suck on your boneblades._

He shivered as he went to get clothes, his hair dripping and the towel hanging low around his waist as he rubbed the bonespikes on the arm holding his towel up. Damn that woman; she was going to drive him insane.

And image of her actually performing that office- though on his bed, not in a corner, made him shiver again and head right back for the bathroom.

_Cold shower. And then to do my "duty" of protecting Beka. _He quickly stepped into the shower and let out a sudden breath. _This is getting harder and harder every day... If I don't do something soon, I think I'll explode._

Deciding that that was a _bad _thing, he ran a hand over his face, thoughts whirling. He had to tell Beka what was going on- especially if she felt the same, so therefore he needed to come up with a foolproof plan to let her know and subsequently land her in his bed. Again images came unbidden to his mind and he growled lowly.

She would be his!

-

**A/N:** I really wasn't sure if I would be making a sequel, but after seeing "Moonlight Becomes You"(like, 5 times. I rewatched everything in the B/Rh scenes- I'm actually recording all the eps now. Lol Sad really...) I decided it was needed, since it seems as if the Beka/Rhade moments are just _crawling _out of the woodwork this season. ... Probably because it's the last and they need to wrap everything up. -Sighs and shakes head- At least it'll get into syndication! Also because of such a positive reaction to my first Drom fic! Lol -Glomps you all- Thank you for the positive reenforcement-Basks in the loving glow- So shout-outs to those who replied!

**Vee017**- My first real Drom reviewer! Thank you! Lol I liked the Harper/Rhade chat too! And yes, I was talking to my aunt about that and explained it that way to her. It's not really Beka! Just her DNA.

**Donna Lynn**- Lol Really? I'm surprised! I would have thought that B/Rh shippers would have jumped on that episode like hobos on a ham sandwich(no offense meant to any hobos out there). And yes, acceptance is a very hard thing for Rhade at this point.

**Eris**- The continuation! Lol

**Squid109**- Apparently, yes! Lol And thanks very much. I thought it came out rather well myself. Left some things hanging, but I took care of that here.

**LittleRedhead**- Thanks! Not my first fic overall, but my first Drom. I'm glad to be a part of Drom ff! Good to see a Harper fanatic reviewing! You belong to Harperchondriacs or the Woolvett chat board?

**Silver Spider**- Oh, most definitely why! I thought the poor baby wouldn't even make it off deck"If I could sweat, I would" indeed. Poor Rhade!

**Prin69**- Lol No pun intended. I got you though. That's EXACTLY what I thought! And yes, poor Harper-Cuddles him-

So as you can tell by the open end to this chapter, I'm planning on adding a third and possibly a fourth and fifth, depending on how the next couple episodes- hell, the rest of the season episodes- go. I just need more episode moments to work with- maybe they'll dedicate one to just Beka/Rhade- in order to add up a new chapter, since this fic is behind-the-scenes Season 5. Therefore, look for a new chapter in a couple of weeks! (This Friday's ep is "The Opposites of Attraction" and looks like it'll be Dylan-focused. They're bringing back the Pax Magellantic's avatar judging from the picture they give at the official site. Lol So I'll need a couple of episodes to get good moments to finish this.)

- V.


	3. Dividing Lines

**Dividing Lines**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: **Hmm.. I found a Drom transcript site, maybe I should offer to do the script for one of the Season 5 episodes...

"They end in pain. Off the scale, unrelenting, oh I want to die kind of pain." My poor Seamus!

**Pairings:** Beka/Rhade (Who else?)

**Warnings:** "Moonlight Becomes You""The Opposites of Attraction" (I will be stealing clip of the show to insert in here so that we can hear the thoughts of characters during them!)

**A/N:** Yay! Another section up! I decided that this time around I would do something just a tad different, such as... adding in a Beka third-person POV? Lol Hope you enjoy! After watching "The Opposites of Attraction" I just had to add something from her thinking, considering Rhade had gotten hurt. So this chapter will be split between Rhade and Beka, and up sooner than I had supposed! I thought this would be all about Dylan but it gave me a sufficient amount of Beka/Rhade to get up another segment to this crazy "To Ever Love" fic! Good for us all! Lol Now go read!

Oh! One more quick note: Yes, I will now be classifying these as "chapters" instead of all seperate fics just shoved into one timeline. Lol I just realized that since this was a recurring story, they were chapters, not seperate ficlets! And this is really chapter-length, not ficlet-length.

-

"This could be it," Rhade whispered, horror coursing sluggishly through his veins. He traded a glance with Trance before looking back at the screen and didn't catch her look of understanding.

Beka had been so obstinately rude earlier, insulting him, daring to treat him like a dog. When he got taken to med dec for his hand and she hadn't seemed the least bit concerned, he had sworn that that was it. He wasn't going to love her anymore. No matter how much he wanted to claim her, he wasn't going to waste himself on someone who so obviously didn't appreciate him.

_That damned woman. Matriarch or not, love or not, I'm not standing for this anymore. Nietzschean loyalty be damned._

And then Trance had come to get him with that look that read trouble...

- FLASHBACK -

Rhade looked up as Trance entered his quarters. "Ah, Trance, something I can help you with?" He turned back to reorganizing his desk.

She just stared at him a moment in worried silence until she had his full, undivided attention.

"What's wrong?"

"Dylan asked me to take you to the bridge." She swallowed and said in gentle tones, "Beka went against orders, she's flying the Maru to the drop point."

Rhade cursed aloud and stalked to get his shoes. "_Why _does that woman always have to disobey? Dammit, why can't she ever just accept that maybe she doesn't need to do everything herself. She isn't invincible!"

_Damn you, Beka! Why can't you listen to good sense? Even if it was from Dylan, he must have had a reason not to have you fly this! Why can't you ever just accept things as they are!_

"No," Trance agreed, "She isn't."

Rhade looked at her sharply and paused in pulling on a boot. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"She over-calculated the anchor point," Trance explained as Rhade finished pulling on his boots, "Or rather, Marita purposely made it weaker than it should be. Beka's heading straight for the plume and she can't pull out."

He was on his feet in a flash. "What?"

"Dylan needs you on the bridge; he's gone after Marita," she replied, but Rhade was hardly listening as he walked by her to get to the command center.

"Andromeda is down!" Trance called after him, then sadly watched the door close and blinked herself onto the bridge of the Andromeda to await Rhade.

Taking the hallways one quick step at a time, his mind screamed at him.

_You don't love her anymore! All she does is treat you badly, doesn't want your help except when it benefits her, won't listen to advice, and is always running off to try and get herself killed. You shouldn't care that this is happening; it's the last straw! _He growled at himself, but the thoughts kept scolding him. _Earlier, she just called you a wuss when you wouldn't take a chance with your life and when your hand got damaged. If she doesn't care, why should you?_

The moment in the Training Center for the Protectors of Avatars came to his mind, as something of a reply to those thoughts.

_"Rhade... get up. Come on, Rhade..."_

He shook his head to clear the images.

_I need to focus on the job at hand._ And with that firm thought it place, keeping all others back until _after _this crisis was averted, he strode onto command.

- END FLASHBACK -

"She's reached equilibrium point," he said, and thought that he'd just about die with relief.

"Beka's going to be okay," Trance agreed, and he turned to look at her, unsure whether it _was _agreement, or assurance. Seeing the look in her eyes as she smiled at him, he couldn't help but smile back. She knew. He should have known that she would know.

Quickly, Rhade averted his gaze back to the screen and let out a sigh of relief. He'd almost lost her. It was enough to make him almost forget about how irritated she had made him earlier, how angry he had been at her insults. Almost. So maybe he wouldn't be nice just yet, but there was no way he could forget so quickly how badly he cared for her.

-

Beka sighed in relief as the Maru set down in the docking bay and let all of her stress drain momentarily. This had been one crazy day.

First, Dylan's girlfriend there acted nice and plotted her demise secretly, then she sent Beka almost into a solar plume. And of course, there was always-

Rhade.

She sighed again and placed a hand over her eyes. That man could drive a turtle into a frenzy. Why did he always have to act like the superior Nietzschean?

That egotistical, _self-centered_, over-protective, gorgeous, sweet, absolutely beautiful man.

She groaned at the well-used route her mind was once again taking when thinking of Rhade. For God's sake she was his _grandmother. _Albeit a few times removed, but still. Having her DNA being _his _DNA was just a little creepy. Then again... weren't all Nietzscheans related in that respect? And besides, it wasn't her, it was her stolen DNA.

_Why are things so complicated?_

She wished she could show him how she felt, that she wanted him to be with her, but considering the events on Seefra, that seemed even less likely than it had been back on the Andromeda in their own galaxy.

And then there was the fact that she had been so absolutely horrible to him since discovering she was Grandmother Nietzschean. If she ever wanted him to consider her as a plausible mate, she had better start acting a bit nicer to him. ... But then he might walk all over her and that wouldn't be very Nietzschean of her, would it?

_You _aren't _Nietzschean. Hell, the likelihood that he would consider you "worthy" to be his mate is so slim you'd be a fool to bet on it._

She finally forced herself to stand and head off the Maru and to Dylan's waiting lecture. Rhade's reaction to her going out there and nearly getting killed might be her deciding factor.

-

Rhade glared as Beka and Dylan walked on to command. The woman was smirking. _Smirking. _At least he knew why she had been picked to start his line.

"Told you I could pull it off," she said casually, obviously congratulating herself.

"Yes, and nearly got yourself killed because of it," he said in his typical Rhade-chastising tone.

"Ah, but I _didn't._"

"You came damn near close. You shouldn't take such risks, Matriarch."

"Aw, don't go all protective on me now, Rhade. The great Matriarch can take care of herself."

Rhade growled deep in his throat. _That _was why he had gotten mad at her; that casual disregard for her life- for anything really.

"All right, that's enough," Dylan cut in as Rhade gave her an irritated look and Beka grinned. "Let's just get back to work. Harper's deflector worked even better than we had hoped, so it should help slow things down a bit. But we can't waste time arguing over this. Beka, you can go make sure the Maru is okay, and Rhade, you get that hand fixed. I'll need your help and so will Beka. So stop bickering like children and go work."

"Fine," Rhade growled, still in a staring contest with Beka.

"Sure, Dylan." She smirked at Rhade again and walked off. Glaring intensely, Rhade followed her out. The current conversation wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

-

He wouldn't let it go so easily, she knew that, so when she heard him following in the corridor, she couldn't help but smile to herself.

Suddenly a firm hand gripped her arm and she was whirled about to face a very angry Nietzschean.

"Yes, Rhade? Something I can help you with?" As she saw his anger rise, her smile turned to a smirk. She could always predict how he would react to something.

"Do you think this is a game?" He asked, "Do you think that risking your life is _fun?_"

"Of course not. But Dylan needed the best pilot there was and everyone knows that I am the best," she replied, not at all frightened of him.

"The best at getting yourself into dangerous situations!"

"Oh Rhade, don't be such a drama queen," she snapped, now starting to get irritated herself. "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."

"Obviously not! It seems like when I'm not there you just get yourself into even worse trouble."

Beka was seriously annoyed now and tried to pull away from his grip on her arm, but he was too strong for her. "I don't need a nursemaid for my every move, Rhade."

Suddenly, Rhade slammed Beka back against the wall in frustration, his hands gripping her arms tightly as his body pressed dangerously close.

"Dammit, Beka, I'm just trying to protect you!"

Silence fell between the two, their heavy breathing and the thudding of their hearts the only noises permeating the still air. For a long moment they just stared at each other, their anger fading, and Beka was sure that he was about to kiss her.

Then he suddenly pushed her shoulders into the wall, thereby propelling himself backwards. His face was hidden behind his Nietzschean mask again.

She was still too startled by the move the moment before to say anything as he stalked away, too out of breath to call for him to stop. The pounding of her heart finally slowed and her legs were able to support her again.

_What in heaven's name was that about?_ She thought, gazing after him with wide eyes.

-

**A/N:** Lol I hardly need to ask since it seems you all instinctively do so anyway, but... just to be safe. REVIEW PLEASE! Lol Now to take care of all reviews since my last chapter...

RougeCajunOzsgrl- By any chance, are you an X-men/Buffy person? Lol But I know the guilt feeling. Still, I watch the classic eps every day at four- haven't seen any new ones yet because I saw these when they had Drom Tuesdays- to make penance for my sins. Lol I'll have my brother record them when I'm not home in time, so I should be caught up in a season or two-Grin-

Donna Lynn- I'm not a sports fan, so that wouldn't have affected me. Lol And if they go back to Witchhead- again- they might never be born because they'll be changing events in a way they SHOULDN'T be changed. Too bad we'll never get to see them going back, though. I'm of the opinion that the last ep of this season- and the entire series- will be them managing to get through the Route of ages and back to their universe, and it'll leave it there with some twisty ending. What they'll need to do then is make an Andromeda movie where they stick Beka and Rhade together FINALLY! Lol But I think too, that in any case, he'll be her body guard. He wouldn't abandon her to all those Nietzscheans, even if he was given an out.

Prin69- You're welcome. Lol The ep that this is based on was even better! Made the last chapter's goals twist to be taken care of in the long run, but still very good. Lol And not even vocab can stand to the will of the Dromshipperness.

Eris- Lol Yes, poor Rhade. But my muse(Gianna, my personal character in the Drom universe) gained SO much inspiration from this episode it was to DIE for. Lol She was fit to bursting with it all!

Like the longer chapter? Lol I decided that since I've really been basing the chapters so far on just the male half of the pairing, I may as well bring in the female half too. Hope I did them convincingly! Actually, I rather like the back-and-forth and the length of this. Hmm... maybe chapters will be longer from now on, if I have such emotions to feed off of in the newer episodes. And since I've now added something that didn't actually occur in the Drom universe- to our knowledge. -wink- I was going to add another Rhade part to the ending, but then decided to just leave it as it was. The next episode will- hopefully- give me enough to play both their parts again. It's fun!

-Watches the promo clip on the official sight for "Saving Light From A Black Sun" then screams and panics- OH MY GOD-Actually gets tears in her eyes before she calms- No, seriously, I just watched the clip and I paniced so badly I started flipping out on my friend. I mean, they wouldn't kill off main characters with 6 episodes left, right? Oh my God it looks bad... I mean, the episode looks good, but the events look bad the way they put it. Darn evil Trance! Oh God...

- V.

P.S. If I missed any punctation or something seems off, I apologize. It was just find when I uploaded it, but as usual- sucks ass and REMOVED ALL PUNCTUATION WITHIN QUOTATION MARKS. Except the periods. So if something it missed, I apologize as it is most likely not my fault.


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